Hi friends! Do you know what today is?! It's our anniversary, our anniversary!! I'm singing the song from Tony, Toni, Tone that I sing every year on this date. My hubby and I are celebrating 18 years together, and 13 years of marriage! I LOVE being in love, those warm, butterflies in the tummy emotions; talking all night about nothing. It WARMS.MY.LOVERS.HEART!! Unfortunately, that feeling doesn't stay around much in the day to day married life. Schedules, kids, career progressions, small business endeavors, who's responsibility was it to do what - all that eventually gets in the way of those strong, smile inducing emotions.
FORTUNATELY, I've learned and accepted the last few years of marriage that it IS possible, just not everyday. Most of that hinges on expectations…those expectations will have you living life in misery! For a period of time (probably post those babies - I blame it on the hormones) I was thinking why do we not vibe the way we used to?! I want to be over the moon in love, why won't he wake up and kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful? Expectations, y'all LOL! SO, to keep that fire burning that I love to feel, I started taking inventory and doing the things that I wanted him to do for me.
Date night? Just plan it - it's nobody's "job" to plan all the date nights. Quarantined date night currently includes Netflix specials and the Chicago Mix popcorn from Whole Foods.
Day Dates? Make it happen with the kids in tow. It's SO EASY to just say we can't do something because the kids are here and who's going to babysit them during a pandemic?!? Made the reservations and just took the kids with us! We still had time to connect with the car ride, waiting in line, and sharing desserts :-)
ASK.FOR.HELP! Instead of just loudly proclaiming I'm cleaning out every drawer in the house, ask, hey, I want to clear the clutter, can you help me clean this out? AND WHEN are you available to help me? LI will work myself into a frenzy trying to "do it all" and GET MAD because he didn't come to my rescue instead of just pausing and asking for help! I’m aware, this sounds crazy, but it's where I'm at in life and I'm on the "do better" track! Expectations!!
Understand the love language! Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch! So it's funny - I had to share this with my hubby about a year ago. When I call you on my way home and ask if there is anything I can pick up for you from the store - that's me loving on you! Acts of Service boo!
Being at home all day is a whole nother beast. We've somehow managed not to get on each other's last nerves and (gasp) actually like each other's company! And the butterflies have returned! Enjoy this time to get reacquainted with your husband, friends, and kids. I added friends here because being in this quarantine has given time to connect with old friends, schedule FaceTime dates and get back into real community with people! I invite you to release those expectations that YOU (you meaning me here) have put on other people! Be the change that you want to see in your relationships!
Don’t expect anyone else to fully understand both the bitterness and the joys of all you experience in your life. Proverbs 14:10 TPT